[Another room at the Goat Tavern]
and DRAWER enter [with] a Table, Pot and Glasses.

420Driblow*Go, sirrah, make your reckoning for our dinner. Leave us this wine, and come when we call you. We have business.

421DrawerI shall, sir, by and by.

422DriblowWell, sir, you will be of both you say, the Blade and the Battoon?

423ClotpollOf both, sir, by all means, both Philoblathicus and Philobatticus, I.* I’ll now have all that belongs to your order, or all my money again, that’s for a certain.

424DriblowYour money again? Lo, you there:* you bring me a fit man, gentlemen, to be sworn, do you not? That talks of money again, when ’tis a main article in the Oath never to look for money again, once disfingered.

425Nicholas   [To CLOTPOLL]   You will not spoil all now ’tis come so far, will you?

426ClotpollWell, sir, when I have my Oath, and that I am sworn one of you, I’ll do as you do, and care as little for money as he that has least.

427DriblowWell, to the Oath then*. For both the Blade and the Battoon, you say?

428ClotpollAye, by all means, Captain, for both. ’Slid, the Battoon may stick to me, when the Blade may fly out o’ th’ hilts.

429AnthonyYes, to the brokers*.

430DriblowLay your hands on these hilts, sir.   [DRIBLOW draws his sword* and CLOTPOLL places his hand on the hilt]   The Articles that you depose unto are these: to be true and faithful* unto the whole Fraternity of the Blade and the Battoon, and to every member thereof.

431ClotpollAs ever faithful member was.

432DriblowThat at no time, wittingly or ignorantly, drunk or sober, you reveal or make discovery of the Brother, or a member of the Brotherhood, of his lodging, haunts, or by-walks, to any creditor, officer, sutler, or suchlike dangerous or suspicious person.

433ClotpollI defy them all.

434DriblowThat if any of the Brotherhood be in restraint or distress by imprisonment, sickness, or whatsoever engagement, you make his case your own, and your purse and your travail his; and that if a Brother die or finish his days, by end timely or untimely, by surfeit, sword, or law, you wear the sable order of the Ribbon in remembrance of him.

435ClotpollA convenient cheap way of mourning.

436DriblowThat your purse and weapon, to the utmost of your strength, be on all occasions drawn to the assistance or defence of a Brother or Brother’s friend*, be it he, be it she.

437ClotpollI understand you, and shall be as forward to fight for a she-friend as ever the best man in the Mirror of Knighthood* was for an honest woman.

438DriblowThat you be ever at deadly defiance with all such people as protections are directed to in Parliament*, and that you watch all occasions to prevent or rescue gentlemen from the gripes of the law brissons*. That you may thereby endear yourself into noble society, and drink the juice of the varlets’ labours for your officious intrusions.

439ClotpollAnd that will go down bravely.

440DriblowYou must rank yourself so much the better man, by how much the more drink you are able to purchase at others’ costs.


442DriblowYou are to let no man take wall of you*, but such as you suppose will either beat you or lend you money.

443ClotpollBetter and better still.

444DriblowThe rest of your duties for brevity’s sake* you shall find specified in that copy of your Order. Kiss the book*.

445ClotpollI’ll swear to them whatsoever they be. So, now I am a Blade, and of a better Row* than those of Tytere tu or Oatmeal hoe.* And so an health to our Fraternity, and in chief to our noble Captain Driblow*.[CLOTPOLL] drinks

446Nicholas and AnthonyAgreed, agreed.

447DriblowNow are you to practice or exercise your quality on the next you meet that is not of the Brotherhood.

448ClotpollAre you one of the Brotherhood, sir, of the Philoblathici?

449MihilI had else lost much, sir, I have paid all dues belonging to it.

450ClotpollSo have I, as I hope to gain honour by’t, forty pounds thick at least; yet I have this left, please you command the half, sir.[CLOTPOLL offers MIHIL money]

451MihilAnother time, your reckoning is not yet paid perhaps.CLOTPOLL puts his money [back] in his pocket

452Clotpoll’Tis the first money of mine that was refused since my coming to town. I shall save infinitely, I see, now that I am sworn. How would I swear to get by it.

453DriblowTake heed of that. Come hither, son.
[Captain DRIBLOW and CLOTPOLL talk apart]

454Mihil   [Aside to NICHOLAS and ANTHONY]   How have you screwed this youth up into this humour, that was such a dry miserable clown but two days since?

455Nicholas   [Aside to MIHIL]   The old way, by watching of him*, and keeping him high-flown a matter of forty-eight hours together.

456AnthonyMen are apt to believe strange fancies in their liquor, and to entertain new opinions.*

457MihilI have fastened three or four cups upon my precise brother. I would ’twere as many pottles, so it would convert him into the right way of good fellowship.

458NicholasI would we could see him, to try what good we could do upon him.

459AnthonyPerhaps we might convert him.

460MihilHe’s above still with the old men. I stole from him, but to see if your Italic mistress were come yet. Your Madame.

461NicholasNo, she comes anon. But is my affliction above still?

462MihilThy father? Yes.

463NicholasPrithee, do not call him my father less he took better courses.

464MihilAnd so is thy sister. The little rogue* looks so squeamishly on me, and I on her, as we had never seen before; but the foolish ape, out of a present affection she has taken to my sister, has discovered to her the whole discourse of our love, and my familiarity with thee, which were enough to spoil all, if it were discovered to the old folks, before my cards were played.

465NicholasWell, remember, Master Mihil, you have promised me half, if the old, dogged fellow give her all, and you marry her.

466MihilThou canst not doubt me.

467NicholasYou know I can spoil all when I list, but to show my countenance in your cause.

468MihilSuch is your virtue*, sir. Well, I’ll up to ’em again before I be missed; and when they part, I am for you again.MIHIL exits

469Driblow   [Aloud]   I have given you all the rudiments, and my most fatherly advices withal.

470ClotpollAnd the last is that I should not swear. How make you that good? I thought now I was sworn into this Brotherhood, I might have sworn what and as much as I would.*

471DriblowThat’s most unnecessary, for look you, son, the best and even the lewdest of my sons do forbear it, not out of conscience but for very good ends; and instead of an oath furnish the mouth with some affected protestation*. “As I am honest, it is so”. “I am no honest man if it be not”. “’Ud* take me, if I lie to you”. “Ne’er go”, “ne’er stir”, “I vow”, and such like.

472ClotpollOr “Ever credit me”, or “Let me never be trusted”.

473DriblowO, take heed of that, that may be spoken in so ill an hour, that you may run out of reputation, and never be trusted indeed; the other will gain you credit, and bring you into good and civil estimation with your hostesses; and make ’em term you “a fair conditioned gentleman if he had it”; and, “truly I never heard worse word come out of his mouth”.

474Clotpoll“Ne’er go”, “Ne’er stir”, “I vow”. I’ll have, “I vow”, then.

475AnthonyI vow, but you shall not, that’s mine.

476ClotpollCan’t you lend it me now and then, Brother? I’ll have “I swear”, then, and come as nigh swearing as I can.

477NicholasI swear but you must not, that’s mine, you know.

478ClotpollI protest then, I’ll have “I protest”, that’s a City-word*, and best to cozen with.

479Driblow*Come, boys, fall to some practice. Let me see a bout at the new French balls*, sprung out of the old English vapours*.

480ClotpollI protest, come on. I’ll make a third man.*

481AnthonyWhose man are you?

482NicholasWhose man is not to be asked, nor scarce whose subject, now he is of our Brotherhood.

483ClotpollYes, by your favour he may ask.

484AnthonyI ask no favour, sir.

485NicholasThat may be granted.

486ClotpollYou can grant nothing in this kind.

487AnthonyI vow, he may grant anything of any kind.

488NicholasI swear, I neither can, nor will grant that.

489ClotpollThat, I protest, may bear exception indeed.

490AnthonyExceptions amongst us? Nay, then I vow –

491NicholasI swear –

492ClotpollAnd I protest![They raise] their battoons.*

493DriblowPart fair*, my boys; ’tis very well performed. Now drink a round to qualify* this bout.
Enter COCKBRAIN [in a false beard and wig].

495Cockbrain   [Aside]   Look upon me, ye Commonwealth’s men, now
        Like a state-surgeon*, while I search and try
        The ulcerous core of foul enormity.
        These are a parcel of those venomous weeds,
        That rankly pester this fair garden plot.
        Whose boisterous growth is such, that I must use
        More policy than strength to reach their root,
        And hoist them up at once.
        This is my way to get within ’em.*

496AnthonySo, ’tis gone round.

497NicholasI muse these mumpers* come not.

498ClotpollBest send a boy.

499Nicholas   [Calls offstage]   Drawer, ha! Where be those rascals?

500[Drawer]*   [Heard offstage]*   By and by.

501NicholasAre you one of ’em, sir?*

502CockbrainI am one that has the favour* of the house, sir.

503NicholasTo intrude into gentlemen’s privacies? Ha!

504CockbrainTo seek a poor living, and ’t please you, by picking up the crumbs of your liberality, for the use of my rare qualities.

505NicholasAnd what’s your quality?

506CockbrainIt is to speak or sing ex tempore upon any theme* that your fancy or the present occasion shall administer.

507NicholasCan you drink before you lay your lips to’t?
[NICHOLAS throws a] glass [of sack in COCKBRAIN’s] face*

508CockbrainO, my weak eyesight!

509ClotpollOr can you eat a crust without chawing, made of the flour* of Battoon?
[CLOTPOLL beats COCKBRAIN with his battoon]*

510CockbrainO good gentlemen, forbear, I beseech you.

511Clotpoll   [Aside]   “The flour of Battoon”. I protest, a good jest, and ’twas mine own before I was aware, for he had the maidenhead or first-blow of my Battoon. Nay, it shall down.*[Writes in his notebook]

512Cockbrain   [Aside]   I will not yet desist, but suffer private affliction with a Roman resolution* for the public welfare, with full assurance that my fortitude shall at last get within ’em.

513NicholasYou are not satisfied, it seems, you rascal. Get you gone.[NICHOLAS] kicks [COCKBRAIN]*

514AnthonyPhew! Beat not the poor fellow so.

515ClotpollLet me come to him again, and flesh myself upon him. I will not only flesh myself, but tire upon him.*

516CockbrainEnough, enough, good gentlemen, you have beaten me enough of conscience.   [Aside]   Was ever good patriot so rudely handled? But the end crowns all.

517DriblowForbear him, sons. What canst thou be, that canst not be satisfied with beating? Speak, art a man or a ghost?

518CockbrainI have been, sir, a man, and of my hands, howe’er misfortune humbles me under your manhoods. But I have seen the face of war, and served in the Low Countries, though I say ’t, on both sides.*

519ClotpollThen ’tis impossible this fellow can be beat out of countenance.*

520NicholasWe’ll leave him in his quality for that constant virtue.

521DriblowSure, ’tis Fenner* or his ghost. He was a rhyming soldier. Look, do his eyes stand right*?

522CockbrainThey had a dish e’en now, sir.

523NicholasOf sack, ’tis true. Here, take another, and wash the inside of your throat.   [Gives a glass of sack to COCKBRAIN]   And let us hear your pipes in their right tune.

524CockbrainGive me a theme, gentlemen.

525NicholasThe praise of sack. Sing the praise of sack.

526AnthonyLet it be of the Blade.

527ClotpollAnd the Battoon, I beseech you.
[Enter DRAWER]

528DrawerDo you call, gentlemen?

529NicholasI vow, I will have sack.*

530DrawerT’other quart of Canary? You shall.
[DRAWER] takes [the] pot [to refill it]*

531NicholasAre your ears so quick? I vow, I’ll dull ’em.

532DrawerAnon, anon.[Exit DRAWER]

533NicholasI say, a song of sack.

534DriblowAye, let it be of sack.

535NicholasNow you pump*, do you?

536CockbrainNo, sir, but think of a tune.

537ClotpollIf he can pump us up a spring of sack, we’ll keep him, and break half the vintners in town.
[COCKBRAIN sings]*

538CockbrainAway with all grief and give us more sack.*
        ’Tis that which we love, let love have no lack.
        Nor sorrow, nor care can cross our delights,
        Nor witches nor goblins, nor buttery sprights*,
        Tho’ the candles burn dim while we can do thus,
        We’ll scorn to fly them, but we’ll make them fly us.
        Old sack, and old songs, and a merry old crew
        Will fright away sprights, when the ground looks blue*.

539NicholasI vow, well said.

540AnthonyI swear, ’twas well.

541ClotpollI protest, the best that I have heard in this kind. I wonder at his ability. I prithee, art not acquainted with my two poetical Drury Lane writers? The cobbler and the tapster?

542CockbrainNo, sir, not I, I work not their way. What I do is ex tempore after the theme given.

543Clotpoll*But they run quite before you. Their works are in print sometimes, and ready to be sung about streets, of men that are hanged before they come to the gallows.

544AnthonyBut did not Mihil say he would come again?

545NicholasI marvel at his stay.

546ClotpollAye, and the mumpers, when come they? I long to see the Sisters, now I am a Brother sworn and entered.
PIG enters

547NicholasO, here comes news. How now, Pig?

548[Pig]*You must all presently to the Paris Tavern*.

549NicholasMust? At whose suit?

550PigMaster Mihil bade me tell you so.

551AnthonyIs he gone from hence?

552PigHe is, and all his gone and dispersed.

553NicholasThen the old Jew my father’s gone.

554PigOnly there’s one delicate, demure gentleman with Master Mihil, travelled along with him towards Paris. I believe he means to make a mouth* of him.

555NicholasO, ’tis his precise brother. But where’s thy mistress and Madama Damaris, that they come not?

556PigThey desire to meet you there too, ’tis more private.

557AnthonyAway, we’ll follow thee.

558ClotpollPig, how does thy father Hog, the Turkey merchant*?

559PigI am in haste, sir*.[PIG] exits

560AnthonyWhy “Turkey merchant”?

561Clotpoll*Because he trades in nothing but Turkey commodities: eggs and concubines. ’Twere well to geld him, and send him to the Grand Signior, to wait in his Seraglio.
DRAWER enters

562NicholasThou hast such a wit in this Clotpoll of thine. The reckoning*, Drawer?

563DrawerHere, here, sir, here’s your bill.[DRAWER offers the bill]

564DriblowLet's* see the sum. What is’t, Drawer?[DRAWER gives bill to DRIBLOW]

565[Drawer]*Forty shillings and three pence, sir, your dinner, and what you had since, in all, sir.

566Driblow’Tis very reasonable. Commend me to thy master. Son Clotpoll, pay ’t.   [DRIBLOW gives bill to CLOTPOLL]   It is your duty.

567ClotpollYes, for my Brothership.

568DriblowBoys, I must leave you.

569Cockbrain   [Aside to the DRAWER]   Forty shillings for four men’s dinners, note that, yet he says ’tis reasonable.

570Drawer   [Aside to COCKBRAIN]   Good Captain. He was ever the fairest reckoner, though he has never the luck to pay anything.

571AnthonyFare you well, father*.

572NicholasWhen we have further occasion, we’ll repair to your lodging.

573ClotpollAt Bloomsbury*, father, I know.

574CockbrainBloomsbury? Good, I note it.

575DriblowSirrah, look to the second article of your Oath.*

576ClotpollAgainst discovery of lodgings, haunts, or bywalks, I am warn’d.

577DriblowLook that you be so.DRIBLOW exits

578NicholasForty shillings and three pence. You’ll bate the three pence, will you not?

579DrawerWe’ll not much stand for that, sir, though our master sits at dear rent*.

580NicholasGive me your two pieces.

581AnthonyPray let me see the bill before you pay it.*[CLOTPOLL passes the bill to ANTHONY]

582NicholasWell, I can hold it then.*

583Anthony“Bread and beer, one shilling four pence”. I do not think we four could eat three pence of bread and, for my part, I drank but two glasses of beer.

584NicholasAnd I but one, I vow.

585ClotpollAnd my father and I but one betwixt us, I protest.

586DrawerHa’ you no men below*?

587NicholasBelow the earth, doest mean? I am sure we have none above ground.

588DrawerI know not, gentlemen, there’s so much reckoned at the bar; and you please you may see it.

589AnthonyNay, an’t be at the bar*, it stands for law. Well, wine five shillings nine pence, I think we had no less. A shoulder of mutton stuffed with oysters, eight shillings, that cost your master very near ten groats; a brace of partridge, five shillings; a couple of cocks, four shillings six pence; a dozen of larks, twenty pence; anchovies, six shillings. I swear, but a saucer full!

590DrawerI’ll be sworn they are so much reckoned in the kitchen.

591AnthonyAll’s law, I tell you, all’s law in taverns. But I hope there will be a law for you one o’ these days*. Then is there fruit and cheese, tobacco, fire, and I know not what. Is ’t right cast*?

592Cockbrain   Aside   There is more hope of that young man than of all the rest. Indeed it is a sore abuse, another very weed in the city. I do note that also.

593NicholasSirrah, before you have your money, fetch me a glass of beer. But canst thou sing this upon any subject?

594CockbrainAny, sir, any, an’t be till midnight.Exit [DRAWER]*

595NicholasBut you have strange helps to your invention. I did note the rolling o’ th’ eye, and rubbing your brows sometimes.

596ClotpollSo did I, I protest, and therefore, I tell you what. If he can sing such another song, and look steadfastly the while upon anything, and hold his hands behind him, I’ll give him half a crown; if not, not, he shall ha’ nothing for tother.

597CockbrainAgreed, gentlemen, give me your theme.

598AnthonyYou shall give it him.

599NicholasAnd withal, watch him if he stir hand or eye, especially the eye.

600ClotpollI will, I protest, and set mine eye against his, that he shall not twink, but I’ll perceive it, and lay him o’er the pate.

601CockbrainWell, sir, your theme?

602ClotpollIn praise of the Battoon, and if you miss it you shall be sure on’t.*

603CockbrainYou’ll help me with the burden, gentlemen?

604NicholasYes, yes, for the more grace of the song.

605ClotpollTake you care for that. Set your eyes* and begin.
[COCKBRAIN sings. COCKBRAIN and CLOTPOLL stare fixedly at each other. NICHOLAS and ANTHONY join in the refrain initially but exit undetected during the song]*

606CockbrainTo prove the battoon the most noble to be,
        Of all other weapons observe his degree,
        In field to be leader of all other arms,
        To conquest and honour, through hazard and harms.
        The gallant and peasant, the lord and the loon,
        Must move by the motion of the leader’s battoon.
O give me the Battoon.

        The pike and the halbard are subject to it,
        The ensign, the partisan, all must submit,
        To advance, or retire, fall back, or come on,
        As they are directed by the leader’s battoon.
        Then it is to the soldier the greatest renown,
        To purchase by service to bear the battoon.
O give me the battoon.

607ClotpollMarry, and take it, sir.   [CLOTPOLL gives COCKBRAIN money]*   Why do you stare about? Though you have broke covenant, I have not.

608CockbrainWhere be the gentlemen?

609ClotpollHa! They are not gone, I hope.   Enter DRAWER*   Where be my Brothers, Drawer?

610DrawerGone, sir, and have sent me to you for the reckoning.

611ClotpollI protest, you jest, do you not? I gave ’em the full sum*, and all the money I had, I protest, I swear, I vow.   [Aside]   Now they are not here, I may make bold with their words*. They have my money, I am sure.

612DrawerIf you have no money, pray leave a pawn, sir.

613ClotpollTake him there, put him in a cage, and let him sing it out.

614DrawerWe know him not, sir.

615ClotpollNo? He said he had the favour of the house to sing to gentlemen.

616Cockbrain   [Aside]   I fear I shall be discovered.   [Aloud]   Sir, I can give your worship credit for a piece till you come to your lodging.[COCKBRAIN gives CLOTPOLL a coin]

617Clotpoll’Protest, thou art generous; nay, I know where to find ’em; and thou shalt go with me to ’em, we will not part now, we’ll show* ’em. I vow,* I’ll leave my sword for tother piece.[CLOTPOLL offers his sword as surety;
DRAWER refuses to accept it]

618DrawerYour sword will not serve, sir, I doubt.

619ClotpollTake my coat too;   [CLOTPOLL offers both his sword and his coat; DRAWER accepts them]   a friend and a battoon is better then a coat and a sword at all times.

620Cockbrain   [Aside]   I am glad my fear is over.
        And after all my sufferings, if at last,*
        Cockbrain crow not these roaring lions down,
        Let him be balladed about the town.All exit
[ROOKSBILL’s house.]

621LucyLet me now bid you welcome to my father’s house where, till your own be fitted, though my father keep too private a family to express large entertainment, yet I hope at worst you shall ha’ convenient lodging.

622KatherineIndeed, I am glad that my father yielded to your father’s friendly request in it, and the more, in regard he is so hard to be entreated to anything; but especially for your society’s sake, sweet sister. Indeed I’ll call you sister always*, and I hope you shall be shortly in my brother Mihil’s right.

623LucyI have laid open my heart to you, which indeed is his; but your father, I fear, will never be won.

624KatherineWhy, you would not have him too, sister, would you?

625LucyHis consent I would*, and my father’s, I hope, would easily be wrought. You saw he was willing your other brother should have me at the first sight, merely for his reservedness, and Mihil methought carried himself as civil today as he; I mean, as civilly for a gentleman, that should not look like one [of the] fathers* of the Dutch Church at five and twenty.*

626KatherineHe was put to ’t today. The noise of the tavern had almost wrought his zeal into fury. It is scarce out of my head yet.

627LucyBut you were about to tell me* how he first fell into this vein, this vanity indeed.

628KatherineI’ll tell you now, and in that something worth your observation.

629LucyI will observe you.

630KatherineMy father has an humour not to like anything at first, nor accept best courtesies of friends, though presently he finds ’em most commodious to him, things that he knows not how to be without; and oftentimes desires with the same breath the things he vilified, and scorned them the last syllable he spake before. You saw when your father offered him the use of his house here till his own be furnished, he cried, “Hah! Are all the houses in the town yours, sir?”; and yet presently entreated for’t, and thanked him.

631LucyThat shows the best nature, they say.

632KatherineBut that is seldom attended by the best fortune. Nay, in us, I mean, his children, he will like nothing, no, not those actions which he himself cannot deny are virtuous; he will cross us in all we do, as if there were no other way to show his power over our obedience.

633Lucy’Tis a strange fatherly care.

634KatherineNow, note the punishment that follows it. There’s not a child he has, though we all know what we do, that makes any conscience of crossing him, we have so much of his good nature in us.

635LucyAnd that’s as odd a duty in children.

636KatherineI must confess it is a stubbornness. Yet for the most part we do nothing but that which most parents would allow in their children. And now for my brother Gabriel, with whom I must bring in the story of another kinswoman of ours my father had at home with us.


638KatherineNay, mark, I pray you, as I would entreat an auditory, if I now were a poet, to mark the plot and several points of my play, that they might not say when ’tis done, they understood not this or that, or how such a part came in or went out, because they did not observe the passages.

639LucyWell on, I pray.

640KatherineMy brother Gabriel, when he was a boy, nay, till within these two years, was the wildest untamed thing that the country could possibly hold.

641LucySo he is still for ought I know, for I think no man of his religion in his wits.

642KatherineI mean in outward conversation, he was the ring-leader of all the youthful fry, to fairs, to wakes, to May-games, football-matches, anything that had but noise and tumult in it; then he was captain of the young train-band, and exercised the youth of twenty parishes in martial discipline. O, he did love to imitate a soldier the best, – and so in everything, that there was not an handsome maid in an whole county could be quiet for him.

643LucyHe may be good at that sport still, for there is almost none of his sect holds any other game lawful*.

644KatherineYet did he bear the civilest and the best ordered affection to our kinswoman I spoke of.

645LucyYes, I remember.

646KatherineSo loving to her person, so tender of her honour that nothing but too near affinity of blood could have kept them asunder.

647LucyAnd she did love him as well?

648KatherineO dearly, virtuously well; but my father, fearing what youth in heat of blood might do, removes my brother Gabriel from home into the service of a reverend bishop* to follow good examples.

649LucyBut he learned not to be a Puritan there, I hope.

650KatherineYou shall hear, sister. Soon after came a gallant into the country from London* here, and, as we after found, a citizen’s son, though he showed like a lord there*. Briefly, he grew acquainted with my brother Mihil. Then wooed and won my cousin so secretly, my father never suspected; not he nor I e’er knew whose son he was, nor of what occupation my old lord his father* was; but he promised her marriage, clapped her you may guess where, and so like the slippery Trojan* left her.

651LucyO devilish rascal!

652KatherineAnd, foolish creature, she soon repented it, and with her shame is fled to what part of the world we know not.

653LucyIn truth ’tis pitiful; that villain would be hanged.*

654KatherineNow upon this my poor brother that loved her so, fell into discontent, forsook his lord, and would have left the land, but that he was prevented and brought home.

655LucyAnd ever since he has been thus religious.

656KatherineThus obstinate, or I think verily he does it but to cross my father, for sending him out of the way when the mischief was done.

657LucyI will not then believe ’tis religion in any of the gang of ’em, but mere wilful affectation. But why or wherein do you or Mihil cross your father?

658KatherineI tell you, sister, we must. He is so cross himself, that we shall never get anything of him that we desire, but by desiring the contrary.

659LucyWhy then do you desire him to get you a husband?

660KatherineBecause he should get me none. O sister, both he and Master Cockbrain can wish now that I had had his son.*

661LucyThere’s another youth now gone on love’s pilgrimage, e’er since your father crossed him in your love not to be heard of*.

662KatherineHush! the old men.

663RooksbillIn good truth, sir, I am taken with your conversation. I like it now exceeding well.

664CrosswillI am glad it pleases you.

665Rooksbill’Tis very fair and friendly, I find we shall accord.

666CrosswillI am glad I have it for you, sir; I pray, make bold with it.

667RooksbillThen pray, sir, let me urge my motion a little further to you.

668CrosswillWhat is ’t? You cannot utter it so easily as I shall grant it; out with it, man.

669RooksbillThat you will be pleased to accept my daughter for either of your sons, your youngest if you please; now I have seen him, I’ll give him with her presently, either in hand a thousand pound and five hundred pound a child as fast as he can get ’em. And all I shall die seized of.

670Crosswill   [Aside]   What a dogbolt is this to think that I should get a child* for him!

671RooksbillI hope you do think well on ’t.

672Lucy   [Aside to KATHERINE]   Pray love he does. I hope so too.

673Katherine   [Aside to LUCY]   Aye, mark his answer.

674LucyI could find in my heart to ask his goodwill myself.

675KatherineAnd that were a sure way to go without it,

676RooksbillHow say you, sir, is’t a match?

677CrosswillI will not stay a minute in thy house, though I lie in the street for ’t. Huswife, I’ll sort you with fitter companions. Come, follow me quickly.

678RooksbillHeaven bless me and my child too from matching with such a disposition!

679KatherineTruly, sir, I longed to be out o’th’ house before.

680CrosswillBefore you came in it, did you not? Ha!

681KatherineThese new walls do so stink of the lime, methinks.*

682CrosswillMarry, fough. Goody Foist*.

683KatherineThere can be no healthy dwelling in ’em this twelve-month yet.

684CrosswillAre you so tender-bodied?

685RooksbillEven please yourselves, then, where you can like better, and you shall please me.

686CrosswillWhy, you will not thrust me out of your house, will you? Ha!

687RooksbillThere’s no such haste, sir.

688CrosswillIndeed there is not, nor will I out, for all your haste neither. I’ll look to my bargain.**

689RooksbillWith all my heart, sir.

690CrosswillBut no more of your idle motions, if you love your ease in your house, your inn here.
BELT enters

691BeltHere’s a letter, sir, from Master Cockbrain.

692CrosswillIs the bearer paid, or give him that, an’t please you.

693BeltSomebody has angered him, and I must suffer.

694CrosswillI sent you to seek my sons, good sir, have you found ’em? Ha!

695BeltI cannot find ’em, sir. They went out of the tavern together, they say, and I have been at Master Mihil’s chamber, and there they are not. I went to the tavern again, and there they were not. Then I beat all the rest o’ th’ bushes* in this forest of fools and mad men, and cannot find ’em, I, where e’er they be.

696CrosswillSirrah, go find ’em where e’er they be, anywhere, or nowhere, find ’em, and find ’em quickly; I’ll find ’em in your coxsomb else, d’ ye see! And bring my son’s sanctity* home before it be dark, lest he take up his lodging in a church porch; and charge Master Mihil that he come not to me till I send for him. Here’s danger i’ th’ house. There was a match-motion indeed.

697RooksbillGood sir, either like my house well, or be pleased to please yourself with some better.

698CrosswillPray, sir, be quiet in your house, lest I send you out of it to seek another. Let me see my chamber.

699RooksbillHe must have his way, I see.All exit

Edited by Michael Leslie